The Big Oh my Goddess!
by artemis836
Summary: Goddesses + Angsty androids = The Big Oh my Goddess! (Ep. 1 up) Please R+R


The Big Oh my Goddess  
Episode 1: How much is that Goddess in the mirror?  
By Artemis836  
  
Dorothy rummaged through a pile of old newspapers she had found while trying to clean out some of the far regions of Roger's abode while she listened to the shower running. Roger was going on a date tonight with a Miss Sayoko.   
"He is way too good for her," muttered Dorothy to herself, "she's just and egotistical tramp."  
But, she was only staff and since the great white ape hadn't come out and pledged his undying devotion to her, though she knew he would, she wasn't going to say anything about it. Do something: yes; but not say anything to him.   
"But what can I do?" she asked herself.  
Then her eyes caught sight of a potential solution in the ad section of one of the papers she was cleaning up. It read: Do you need a helping hand? For divine intervention dial: 1-555-463-3388.  
"It is worth a try," she reasoned and moved to the nearest telephone to make the call. She did and the telephone was answered by an angelic voice, obviously not a telemarketer.  
"Hello and thank you for calling the Goddess Relief Office," it said, "we will send someone right away."  
Dorothy hung up, puzzled, "The Goddess Relief Office?"  
  
Meanwhile, Roger had finished his shower in the bathroom attached to his bedroom and was shaving in front of a very savvy art-deco mirror. When he finished, he washed off the excess shaving cream and spoke aloud to his reflection, "Hey you, in the mirror...yeah you...I just wanted to tell you that you are one sexy..."  
Roger's narcissistic monologue was abruptly cut off when the head and upper torso of a beautiful blond woman emerged from the mirror.   
With a cheery smile, she looked at the stupefied Roger and said, "Hello, my name is Belldandy and I have come from the Goddess Relief Office. Is this the residence of Miss Dorothy Waynewright? I am here to help her."  
"Norman!" yelled Roger at the top of his lungs, "I've finally snapped! It's the stress! Norman!"  
When Roger reached the door to this own room that led out into the rest of the house, his unshakable butler was waiting calmly for him.  
"Is there something the matter, sir?" asked Norman.  
"The matter!" exclaimed Roger; "there is a beautiful blond woman in my bathroom who just popped out of the mirror!"  
"That sounds like an agreeable situation to me, sir," responded the butler.  
"What! Oh...you do have a point," replied Roger.  
"Will this delay your breakfast time, sir?" inquired the butler.  
"No, I don't think so," replied Roger Smith, now coming to his senses. Roger started to turn away to head back into the bathroom and introduce himself properly when Norman made a coughing sound.  
Roger faced his butler, "What is it, Norman?"  
"Sir," Norman deadpanned, "I do believe that you have dropped your towel during your flight from the water-closet."  
Roger looked down and Norman's statement was confirmed, he had thought it felt drafty. Roger tried to hide his grimace, "Thank you, Norman, that will be all."   
The butler nodded and Roger closed the door. He turned around and wound up face to face with the mirror woman. He jumped, startled.  
"Hello," she said, smiling, "are you a friend of Miss Waynewright? You seemed a bit startled earlier."  
Her expression changed from giddy to terribly sad.  
"I am so sorry if I frightened you," she said, tears welling up in her eyes, "please forgive me."   
"It's nothing," Roger responded, quickly throwing on a robe, embarrassed. "Did you say you are from the Goddess Relief Office?"   
"Yes," she replied, her face brightening, "I am a Goddess."  
"Well, that would explain the mirror trick," Roger replied acting nonchalantly. After all the Gods he had battled in and around Paradigm, he was glad to find a pretty one.  
"May I please speak with Miss Waynewright?" asked Belldandy.  
"Oh, that's right, she contacted you. I'll have to thank her later," Roger winked at Bell and smiled while leading her into the main room where Dorothy had been standing since she had heard Roger's shout.  
"Hello Miss Waynewright, I am so glad to meet you. I am here to grant one wish, your hearts desire," said Bell with a smile.  
"So you will not leave until I make a wish?" asked the android, seeing and opportunity.  
"No, I cannot. It is against regulations," responded Bell.  
"Great!" thought Roger, "hopefully Dorothy will take a week to decide and I'll have time to spend with the divine beauty! But wait! Sayoko is coming tonight. She would not be too happy to find a beautiful woman living in my house."  
"Hurry up, Dorothy," he said aloud, "you don't want to take up any more of Miss Belldandy's time."  
Dorothy turned and starred at him with her dark eyes. Then she looked to Belldandy and spoke, "He would be considerably less irritating if you turned him into a cat. I like ~~~~. Could you do that?"  
"Well," replied Bell, "technically I could but..."  
"On second thought," interrupted a very worried Roger Smith, "maybe you should take your time and make sure you don't make any quick decisions. Miss Belldandy can stay in the guest room as long as she wants."  
"Fantastic," he thought, "Dorothy can finally get revenge for all my android jokes. I'm screwed."  
"This is perfect," thought Dorothy, "with a little work, Miss Belldandy can save my evening."  
  
Later that night, Roger returned home with Miss Sayoko. He had instructed Dorothy to keep Belldandy busy by any means possible. She had agreed to teach Bell the rules of the household, which satisfied Roger. He was always making up household rules on the spot so, since Dorothy could not forget any, it would probably take them all night. Sayoko was hanging all over him and he liked it. She was quite attractive. Then his eyes met hers...the rest of the main hallway seemed to fade out of existence. Sayoko's lips started to move towards Roger's. Roger's lips started to move towards Sayoko's.   
They were centimeters apart when Roger heard from behind him, "You back, Mr. Smith! I hope you and Miss Sayoko had a lovely evening!"  
It was Belldandy. "Well," thought Roger, "I have to look on the bright side: this can not possibly get worse."  
Then he heard Sayoko gasp. Roger turned to see what about the lovely Goddess could have possibly startled Sayoko and then he saw the reason. Belldandy was wearing only a black, lace, lingerie. Roger was stunned. First by Belldandy's beauty and secondly by the fact that this had gotten so bad it was almost funny.  
"Now," thought Roger, "there is no way this can get any worse."  
"Who are you!" exclaimed a thoroughly shocked Sayoko.  
"My name is Belldandy," the goddess explained, "I do not normally dress like this, I feel like Urd, but this is the way Mr. Smith wants me dress while I try to grant the hearts desire of..."  
Before Belldandy could finish, Sayoko screamed and stared at Roger, "You pervert!" she exclaimed as she slapped him right across the face and stormed out of the house. Roger stood there a moment trying to take it all in. He forced himself not to think that it could get any worse for fear of bringing his house down around his ears. Instead, he yelled, "R. Dorothy Waynewright!"  
She appeared in the room, obviously she had been nearby.  
"Why is Belldandy wearing that!" he demanded.  
"It is black, Roger," she answered, "you never specified the amount of clothing, just the color."  
Tears welled up in Bell's eyes, "Have I done something wrong? I am so sorry, please forgive me Mr. Smith." She buried her head in his chest and sobbed.  
"No, no, no," he responded, unable to be angry with her partly because it was Dorothy's fault and Bell was just to sweet to be angry at. "You had the right idea, just not enough of it."  
"You want me to wear more black?" Bell asked.   
He nodded.  
Bell's face brightened when she realized he wasn't mad. She snapped her fingers and the lace, black lingerie was covered by an exact duplicate of Dorothy's dress.   
Roger smacked himself in the face. Dorothy smiled and looked at the overjoyed Goddess, "I believe Miss Belldandy and I will be good friends." 


End file.
